Mary Kole is now providing consulting and editorial services for writers. Check her out! http://marykole.com/.
I've been impressed with her picture book and MG webinars through Writer's Digest as well as her blog at http://kidlit.com/.
If you are thinking about retaining her, you could take her webinar which includes a critique. Then, you'd get a sense of her editorial style AND learn about craft.
So I decided to jump on the Twitter bandwagon because I wanted to see what the fuss is about. After one intro session, I learned it is easy to get immersed in twittertopia for too long -- so many people, so much sharing! -- but there is a ton of helpful information there. For instance, check out this post by agent Mary Kole at www.kidlit.com: Two signs of overwriting and why it's a problem: http://ow.ly/6buRq#writing#kidlit.
What do you think? Do you need to simplify your writing?
This blog shares insights on the craft of writing children's books and the publishing industry, and supports creators and educators on their journeys.